i’m lost

and i don’t know if i want to be found

I’m tired. of trying to be good at this. of trying to pretend like it’s not killing me.

I’m lonely. I’m isolated. and I feel rather silly..

I wish I had a direct line

to wisdom

I could tap into

when need-be.

oh,

but maybe I do.

maybe it’s my ancestors.

or something called “spirituality.”

or maybe it’s this —

the downloading of thoughts and feels onto a “page.”

maybe in their expression,

they are released.

oh, what a dream..

to be free…

to lose sight of the idea of “me”